Lunch Break: Drag Queen, Chik-Fil-A Edition

Someday, somebody’s gonna make you wanna gobble up a waffle fry
But no go, don’t you know, Chik-Fil-A say, you’ll make the baby Jesus cry

Fishtown NoLibs Penn’s Landing Restaurant Week August 1-10 Will Destroy Democracy, America

nightout_logorevised_20140729In the distant future, grad students, if there still are such things, will scratch their heads and chuckle bemusingly at us, as we did generations before, as grad students studying the folly of the last days of Rome. How could they not see suicide path on which they deliberately trod? Could they not see that all the vomitoria and slavery and corruption was unsustainable? Did they really think that the Vandals and Visigoths would be forever held at bay with meager scraps and the lip-service paid to them in the form of “Roman Citizenship, Of A Sort”? The blame for the crumbling of the republic lies with all who idly watched. Yeah, that’s what the’ll say about Legitimate Rape and hot sister on brother action and yes, Restaurant Week.

We all know that Restaurant Weeks are problematic at best, and a waste of everybody’s time and money at worst, and yet they are reproducing like a goddamn virus. Just as we all know that corporations and the billionaires who run them are ruining the republic, we are unable to stop their metastasization and it’s a pretty good bet that they will take the United States of America and representative democracy with them as they drag the greatest governmental experiment ever conceived back with them into feudalism and eventually the very premature death of the planet itself.

But that doesn’t mean a night out in the Fish for $35 couldn’t be fun. Right around Halloweeen, our first semester freshman roommate realized that he had dropped way more classes than he had added and was failing both of the 101 classes that were left on his schedule. With the freeing glee of a short term future decided, Crash – his real name lost to the mists of time – enjoyed and relished his last weeks of higher learning with the gusto of condemned man digging into the steak and lobster quesadillas provided him by the warden. And that is how you should dig into restaurant week in Fishtown, NoLibs and Penn’s Landing.

Neighborhood Eateries to Offer Three-course, Prix-fixe Menus for Lunch and Dinner

PHILADELPHIA – Attention all Philly foodies—there’s a new restaurant week in town. “Night Out Restaurant Week,” which will run from Friday, Aug. 1 until Sunday, Aug. 10, features 14 participating restaurants across the Fishtown, Northern Liberties and Penn’s Landing sections of the city.

From Aug. 1–10, participants will offer three courses per person for a set price. Lunches will cost either $10 or $20, while dinners will cost either $25 or $35. All restaurants will offer a dinner option, while select restaurants will offer lunch.

Participating restaurants include:
· Bar Ferdinand – $35 dinner
· Chart House – $35 dinner
· Circles Contemporary Thai Cuisine (Northern Liberties) – $25 dinner
· Darling’s Diner – $20 lunch; $35 dinner
· El Camino Real – $10 lunch; $25 dinner
· Il Cantuccio – $35 dinner
· Jerry’s Bar – $35 dinner
· Keating’s River Grill – $20 lunch; $35 dinner
· Lloyd – $25 dinner
· Moshulu – $20 lunch; $35 dinner
· The Pickled Heron – $35 dinner
· The Refinery – $20 lunch; $35 dinner
· Ristorante La Veranda – $20 lunch; $35 dinner
· Taste – $35 dinner

You can dig the Complete menu offerings and reservation information over at  Night Out Restaurant Week.

Who is puppet-master of this sumbitch you ask? Why the magnanimous gonnifiem over at Sugar House:

“We’re happy to organize this for the community and shine a spotlight on our neighborhood,” Wendy Hamilton, general manager of SugarHouse Casino, said. “There are a ton of fantastic spots here, and we saw an opportunity to help showcase what they’ve got. If you haven’t been to one of these restaurants before and have been wanting to try them—now’s your chance!”

So, embrace the nihilism, the prix fixeness of it all and our eventual asian overlords, and remember, “Don’t blame us, we voted for Kodos.

Sketch Burger Search Leads To Burger Sketch

Whilst searching (unsuccessfully) for a video clip of the latest episode of the Travel Channel’s Food Paradise offering, which features our own lil Sketch Burger, we stumbled upon this webisode. Whenever you hear the word Williamsburg think Fishtown and you get the idea.


Lunch Break: Weaponized Meats Edition

If you’re looking for a video that has everything, this is the video for you… if everything = wieners in calipers, the Phanatic, ballistic tests Chris Wheeler and a Hatfield sampler of Hoagiemouth.

Chhaya Cafe’s Cheesesteak Waffle Is Only Acceptable Within The Confines Of The Delaware Valley

Cheesesteak WaffleIn one of Kurt Vonnegut’s later works, Bluebeard, Rabo Karebekian goes on and on about how the abstract expressionists were able to break all those rules because they had mastered them and in some cases, invented them in the first place. It’s been a while since we read that book but we think that’s how part of it went.

Well the Chhaya Cafe on East Passyunk Ave. is brunching it up good these days:

Chhaya Cafe heats up Philadelphia’s brunch scene with four must-try summer entrees and five thirst-quenching sips. Despite construction on their future home two doors down, Chhaya isn’t slowing down as the Chef Varnana “V” Beuria adds the Cheesesteak Waffle, Whole Wheat & Oat Pancakes, a Summer Salad and Breakfast Tacos to the summer menu. Chef V’s signature Homemade Sage and Mint Limeade, along with Matcha-Avocado Smoothies and Affogato, also join a full line-up of organic, fair trade coffees and herbal teas. All new dishes and drinks are available immediately through late summer. Chhaya Cafe’s new location, at 1817 East Passyunk, is expected to open in mid-to-late August, 2014.

So in just a month or so, V is moving her joint in to roomier digs, but that doesn’t mean she’s playing out the string this summer. The new menu items all look interesting but it’s the Cheeseteak Waffle that got us thinking. Around the country, the things labeled “Philly Cheesesteak” can range from the headily authentic to the head scratchingly confounding, and were we to see this cheesesteak waffle on a menu in Idaho or Texas or in Brusssels Wisconsin*, we would dismiss it as out-of-town fuckery and order a burger or whatever, but this offering from a local bruncharie whose waffles are already beyond reproach deserves the benefit of the doubt.

The cheesesteak rules and ingredients and dos and don’ts in this town are not set in cement, but they’re not exactly fluid or even freeform. Sure there are $100 publicity stunts, but that Clinton bait no longer works since the big dog went vegan, and yeah there are other mashups that are abominations as well. But there are rules. Just ask the Secretary of State who swiftboated himself that one time.

So we’re gonna give Chhaya Cafe the benefit of the doubt on this one, at least for now, but maybe we’re gonna have to get on out to some East Passyunk brunching and see if this is indeed a playful take on a local classic, or a miscalculated crime against nature, gastronomy, Pat Oliveri, Benjamin Franklin and representative democracy itself. Our money’s on the former.

Chhaya Cafe
1823 East Passyunk Avenue
Phila, PA

*See what we did there?


Prime Stache Pop-up Will Smoke Your Spice Or Vice-Versa


Tomorrow night The You’ve Changed bar group is popping into Prime Stache to pop-up a pop-up. The event, “Smoke & Spice: Cocktails from the Devil’s Cookbook” will feature smoky and spice cocktail creations as well as food and music. Dig:

You’ve Changed is a pop-up bar concept that bartenders Brian Kruglak, Derek Moorer and Anna Henderer of The Ranstead Room devised as a means to provide the city of Philadelphia with sporadic, fun one-of-a-kind bar experiences. The Smoke & Spice event will be their second pop-up bar, following the successful Mad-Libs themed bar last April.

The event will feature a handcrafted cocktail menu of five smoky and five spiced libations. Guests will also be invited to “smoke” or “spice” their own cocktails or liquors with their choice of woods to burn or peppers to add to their drinks, keeping with you’ve changed’s idea that cocktails should be fun and involve both the bartender and guest in a collaboration.

The pop-up bar will be open from 6:00 pm to 2:00 am and all cocktails on the menu will be $11, with an additional $1 up-charge for any customized smoked or spiced drinks. Which really means all the drinks are $12, ’cause why would you schlep out to the Smoke and Spice pop-up and order an unsmoked or unsliced cocktail? You’re not that guy. Don’t be that guy. Beer and food from Prime Stache will be available, as well. Be the guy who eats and drinks the smoky delish. That’s the guy you wanna be. Be that guy.

Prime Stache
110 Chestnut st.
Philadelphia, PA

Lunch Break: Still Waters Edition

The only thing these people fear more than revenuers? The dentist.

There Are No Rooms Available In Tuscany, But S’okay, Paradiso Brought The Wines Over Here

Wednesday, which is tonight, at 6:30, which is in a couple hours, Paradiso Wine Bar will be continuing it’s Drinking Italy tastings with the wines of Tuscany:

This Wednesday, July 9, our popular Drinking Italy series makes its next stop in the culinarily rich region of Tuscany with three wines complemented by house-cured savory meats and artisan cheeses chosen by Chef Lynn Rinaldi specifically for each pour. This event costs just $20 & starts at 6:30pm.

R. Michael Hodges from Vintage Imports will be on hand and go table to table to discuss specific nuances of each wine. Rinaldi will also visit tables to discuss the pairings and food.

Tonight the wines include:

  • Apollonia – a 2012 Vernaccia and Chardonnay blend from Baroncini Winery
  • Zingari – a 2010 “Super Tuscan blend” with 30% Syrah, 30% Sangiovese, 30% Merlot and 10% Petite Verdot, produced by Petra Estates
  • Basilica Caffaggio – a 2010 Chianti Classico by Villa Caffaggio

$20 grabs you a seat. You can get tickets by calling  215.271.2066 or clicking here.



Mac And Cheese, Breakfast And A Mercyfuck From The Past

Yesterday while exploring the fuzzy origins of Lord Baltimore’s signature confection, we were given a chance to reference our old touring pal, Mary Prankster. Seems a lifetime ago when as a young, violent sociopath, we would share stages and greenrooms and other, more sordid spoils of touring and our heart still pumps a little more enthusiastically when it’s lub-dubbing in time with Charm City’s purdiest cow punk.

Turns out, her out of print and tricky to acquire debut, Blue Skies Over Dundalk boasts not one, not two but three food themed tracks and we’ve put em right here for you to enjoy and share with your friends.

Mary retired the Prankster character almost a decade ago and fell in love and went to grad-school and came in second on Jeopardy just like the rest of us, but still on quiet nights while walking the streets of Fell’s Point, some people say, if you listen really close, you can almost hear gentle strumming underneath a plaintiff wail of a forever 25-year-old cowpunk singing Mercyfuck.


Last Day For Half Price Tix To Old York Road Cellars Summerfest


Today is the last day to get yerself some $5 tickets for What Exit Wines and Old York Road CellarsSummerfest 2014. This Saturday July 12th, from noon to 5pm, in Ringoes, NJ, there will be games giveaways and more, with a portion of the proceeds going to the Hometown Heros and Hurricane Sandy Relief Fund – just in time too, because Governor Christie is gonna need to raid that fund again for some political ads if he wants to be president. 

Along with the Jersey Trivia Wheel and custom wine labels with your picture on the bottle there will be live music and the Bluefish Grill’s Taco Truck and desserts by Enchanted Carousel and of course lots of the wine that made New Jersey famous.

For the rest of the day today you can get your $5 tickets. If you miss the window of frugality,  you can still attend, you’re just gonna have to shell out the full $10. Don’t pay retail like a shaygetz, click here now.

New Jersey Summerfest
Old York Road Cellars
80 Old York Road
Ringoes, NJ 08551


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