Earlier this week, the Philadelphia Weekly dropped an absolute boner of a cover story on Philly’s Top 50 Bars that was more notable for what it missed than what it got. We asked our readers — holy hell, we already have readers! — what was most notably absent in PW’s list. And there was much. After the jump, we humbly submit The 51st Through 60th Greatest Philly Bars. And please remember: They’re not 51 through 60 because we deemed them so. They’re 51 through 60 because someone else seriously screwed the pooch.
51. Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar, 1200 E Passyunk Ave, (215) 365-1169
There’s not a lot more we can say here except: Shame on you, PW. Shame on you.
52. Bar XIX, 200 S Broad St. (215) 893-1119
Oh, sweet civilization! XIX is on the top floor of the Bellevue, and if you take someone there, you are so, so getting laid. There’s a fireplace, enormously high ceilings, dark wood, fantastic wine list and what is, in our estimation, the city’s best raw bar platter. We feel bad about even telling you about this place, that’s how grand and cinematic and deeply F. Scott Fitzgerald it is.
53. Doobie’s, 2201 Lombard St. (215) 546-0316
This is one of a handful of fairly legendary Philly hangs that somehow slipped past the PW brain trust. Doobie’s has been open before you were born, has put down more drunks than you have, and is basically the root DNA of the thing we now call G-Ho. Plus, their jukebox is peerless and as far back as we can tell, was the first bar in the city to do that whole your-record-collection-in-my-jukebox thing. They have food there, and it is, we will take a controversial opinion here, not bad. Say hi to Doobie’s, Philadelphia. You owe it something.
54. The Bar At Friday Saturday Sunday, 261 S 21st St. (215) 546-4232
This is one for when you’re feeling like one of those mid-80s Woody Allen movies, when it still seemed possible to disappear into a city that included multiple types of people and not just all the assholes you might as well have gone to college with. There’s a big ol’ fishtank behind the bar, it’s appropriately tucked away, and there has not ever been a single cocainesexjam or acidrainbowpartyanthem played in this place, unless you count a little Steve Miller Band every now and then.
55. Jerry’s Bar, 129 Laurel St (btw. New Market & 2nd St.)
If you can find Jerry’s Bar, you get the prize. The prize? It’s Jerry’s Bar. Frozen in time, Jerry’s is the kind of place where drink prices are written in Sharpie on the bottles themselves, Jerry himself is just as likely to be your side of the bar as anywhere else. It does not get more real-deal Philly than this, and Jerry’s is the kind of buried treasure that keeps NoLibs one of the more consistently interesting spots in town.
56. Dirty Frank’s, 347 S 13th St. (215) 732-5010
Are you fucking kidding me? It’s Dirty Frank’s.
57. The Society Of Free Letts, 531 N 7th St. (215) 922-9798
Or, the Latvian, as it’s better known. Originally, this was a place for Free Letts — that Latvians to you, bub — to go and be with other Letts; there’s a sitting room with a lit-up map of the homeland, and even still, the Latvian hosts many ethno-cultural events. But unlike lots of others of these types of places, the Latvian hasn’t shut out the rest of the world, or worse, modernity as a whole. Helmed in large part by young Lett Laris Kreslins, the Latvian now hosts performances, lectures, DJ nights and shows. Best of all though are the “Latvian Happy Hours” in the untouched-since-1965 downstairs bar where all are welcome and they serve these magnum-sized bottles Eastern European beer that knock you on your ass almost instantly.
58. 700, 2nd St. & Fairmount Ave.
Like, duh. The 700 was patient zero in the current redevelopment phase of Northern Liberties, and it’s more than earned its stripes. As both a jumping off point for local DJs (the Hollertronix guys got their start here) and a wildly varied bar scene, it’s unparalleled. Wide selection of draft beers and that just-never-know-who-you’ll-run-into vibe seal the deal.
59. Eulogy, 136 Chestnut St., (215) 413-1918
After Monk’s, the close Number Two in Philly Belgian ale houses. Eulogy boasts a more with-it bar scene, however, and it’s just cozy enough to get lost in a darkened corner (and there are many here). Funny fact: The guy who started the place was on the L.A. season of MTV’s The Real World. He replaced the guy who impersonated Eddie Murphy without really knowing it and then ripped the sheet off of the super high maintenance girl that time and then got accused of rape. Legendary! And surprisingly bearable for Old City.
60. Green Rock Tavern, 2546 E Lehigh Ave. (215) 203-1935
This one’s a noob up yonder in Port Fishington, run by Three-4-Ten bassist Jamie Mahon. Mahon’s doing a neighborhood corner bar right, with flatscreens (but not too many), an Internet jukebox and an old polish lady in the kitchen rolling pierogies and shepherd’s pie. Truly aiming to serve, there’s also DJ nights and last minute super-intimate rock shows (Brother JT played there two weeks ago). Claim a seat for Phils games here now.
Honorable mentions: Dahlak · Starboard Side · McCloskey’s (Ardmore) · Rose Tattoo
What about The Dolphin?
‘Real World’ Glenn’s stint on the Real World LA made him the second most famous person from Roslyn. Right behind Michael Buffer. Go Eulogy!
That’s the thing with these lists – there will always be glaring omissions. How the Artful Dodger and the Dolphin were left off this list, I don’t know. I think the CP and PW “Best of Philly” lists should be changed to “Places a particular writer goes to” list… I’d love to see a “Top 50 Meathead/FratBoy Bar” list. We all know where to go – tell us where not to go! Anyway, phoodie is great – wonderful first week – congrats and keep it up!
“It wasn’t not funny”
RE: “Top 50 Meathead/FratBoy Bars”: Ten Stone belongs on that list. avoid at all costs.
Ten Stone. Definitly. Went there on Friday night, early on to check out a specific Philly beer week event (also in neighborhood). Ended up crammed at tiny table surrounded by dudes drinking Miller Light and the dumb girls with them. So bad.