Resident wine psycho Collin Flatt ends his summer with one last light-bodied tart. And she’s a freak.
Hair-pulling and buckwild is the way to live behind closed doors. If you don’t come up for air with bruises, you’re not really trying. Scars are sexy when they’re earned, sexier when they’re asked for. Luna Vineyards latest insanity, Freakout, is a mosh pit of competing varietals that should never have been thrown in the mix together. The vintners at Luna live to jack up your perceptions, succeeding at every turn in every bottle.
The dominant grape in the blend is Chardonnay at 35%, closely followed by Pinot Grigio jumping on for 33%. How about some Sauv Blanc? What the f*ck, why not? Let’s finish it all with the weird-ass Greek/Slovenian berry known as Ribolla Gialla. A steelcage deathmatch never tasted this good. The depth of what appears to be a tight summer wine gives you a headache digging for all the flavors in the glass. Your nose will go crossed. Pears and lemon peel on the nose, with hints of baked bread and grapefruit rind lead you down the path to full on wet stones and ripe citrus on the wash. The finish is abrupt and zesty, framed by a tease of coconut shaving. Coconut? She’s. A. Freak.
This is the kind of girl that wears pant suits to work, with a plunging neckline and no panties. After owning you in shuffleboard wearing heels, she’ll buy you a drink at the bar and force you to take her into the woman’s bathroom, asking the other ladies if they’d like to join. All left turns that never become a circle, the trip is confounding, confusing, and complex. There’s no reason to take her up on any offer, but curiosity makes for a life lived right. Drink. Up. She pairs with everything and nothing. I’m stumped.
The PLCB has it in good with the folks at Luna, as I recently reviewed their Pinot Grigio varietal bottle. All of these wines are value priced beyond belief and in very long supply. For the few things the state does right, their deal with these forward-thinking nutjobs in Napa might be the most important one. This bottle is currently a Chairman’s Selection, priced at $9. It’s everywhere. Drink it just to say you did.
The PLCB code is 18065.
– Collin Flatt
Collin Flatt is a former Beer Pong champ turned oenophile. Collin Flatt spends his tax refunds on wine. Collin Flatt has his Bachelor’s Degree in drinking and is getting his Master’s Degree in winemaking. Collin Flatt is working on an Arctic Splash Cuvee. Collin Flatt writes about wine for Phoodie.info.
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