Now that Obama has moved into a Culinary Wasteland, he won’t be able to get his favorite food anymore. The Hyde Park location of Italian Fiesta Pizzeria happens to be The First Dude’s favorite takeout spot, which sounds like the equivalent of Lazaro’s here in town. We do love us some Lazaro’s, but what will El Presidente do when he needs his deep dish with sausage? We appreciate Citronelle for the fine diner in us, but you can’t eat there every night.

Barry, may we suggest Berger’s Cookies to be the House Dessert? That shit will change your life.