Look, we know everyone has their own secret Bloody Mary recipe at home, but sometimes, just sometimes, that hangover doesn’t allow you to slice citrus and make tomato juice on Sunday morning.

As we continue our celebration of The New World Order, we tip our hat to the Stirrings Bloody Mary Mixer for those of us who don’t feel like leaving the house, or making a goddamned thing. It’s the best we’ve ever had.

Heavy on the spice and rusty sweetness, it’s a dense and hearty offering that will take you back to Paris or New York, as they both lay claim to inventing this Drink of Drinks.

You can find this beast at Whole Foods, organic, ‘natch. It ain’t cheap at $9 a bottle, but it’s dense enough that you can thin it out and squeeze a few more drinks in our Time Of Ultimate Partying. So if you can’t make it out with us, it’s truly the next best thing. Plus, you don’t have to listen to Sweeney bitching about the fact that violinist Itzhak Perlman just doesn’t have it anymore.