Collin Flatt is back after quite the hiatus with a summery offering for those people who ride the ABC bus. Lots to love about a naked Chardonnay.
After going into hiding and being thrown headfirst into the world of beer this winter, I cracked open a bottle of Chardonnay that reminded me of the reason I got into wine in the first place. The sheer pleasure of discovering a perfectly balanced white wine for under $15 is akin to gettin away with something.
For those who live the ‘Anything But Chardonnay’ (ABC)Â lifestyle, I ask you give the Chapel Hill Unwooded Chardonnay a spin. For every oaky, buttered toffee Cali Chard, there’s a beautiful Old World charmer out there sitting defiantly among the trash waiting for someone in need of an eye-opening.
Like biting into a piece of just ripe green apple with a hint of peach, this mineral-laden little lady has all the acidity you’ll ever need to pair with anything short of a raw steak or cured meats. This is the diamond in the rough that is surrounded by big-haired freakshows that smell like Designer Imposters. She’ll never admit what neighborhood she grew up in because you might pass judgment based on the ZIP code, and she’s moving out as quickly as possible. But give her a real shot and she’ll come with you to any event, even a Monster Truck rally that your best friends wouldn’t even go to. She’s totally cool, and looks smashing in daylight.
The state store has a ton of this stuff lying around, as they got into bed with Chapel Hill in a huge way, but we’re winning out on that gamble. The Chapel Hill folks always respect the varietal characteristics and make quality juice. Like their close relationship with Montes and Pio Cesare, the PLCB does right by us every once in a while. At $12.99, this is a steal and a good reason to stop by the wine store. The PLCB code is 24991.
– Collin Flatt
Wine is NOT juice. It’s fucking not. That’s like calling beer “wort.” I know you think it’s part of your “voice,” but quit it. God, you guys are shit writers.
Actually, James, the must is closer to your reference of wort. And since wine truly is fermented grape juice, and nothing more it’s not really a stretch, you see? The wort must still go through a boil, and more ingredients (hops, etc.) are added during this procedure to kick the sweetness of the beer down as well as kill off the proteins that make the beer unstable. Wine is crush and then yeast it up and punch it down.
For reference, other shit writers that toss around the colloquialism ‘juice’ to describe wine might be Jancis Robinson, Steve Tanzer, and Michael Broadbent. Lighten up. Now get the hell out of my office.
James Windibank = OWNED
resent the hate, but sweet holmes reference.