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Any non-vegetarian (not hating) who has ever had a hangover can tell you that bacon is the drinking person’s breakfast meat. Slap that ish between two pieces of bread with an unhatched chicken cooked to your liking, and Poof! (Or, Barf!) Hangover gone! It may clog your arteries or leave you with a few extra chins, but what is it about this thinly sliced, fatty, smoked meat that makes it the hangover’s natural predator? Try as they may, the boys down at Phoodie Laboratories just couldn’t get to the bottom of it. The best explanation they could offer was this: “Bacony-gross-greasy-goodness fights an epic battle with the leftover booze deep within the gutty-works and more often than not, wins.” Uhm, thanks, guys. Up until now, this was as scientific as it got. However, Elin Roberts, of Newcastle University’s Centre for Life, actually figured it out. Apparently, eating food doesn’t soak up or battle the alcohol in your belly; it increases the body’s metabolism, helping it process all of those PBR’s that much the quicker. Roberts delved even deeper:

“Binging on alcohol depletes neurotransmitters too, but bacon contains a high level of aminos which tops these up, giving you a clearer head.”

So does this mean if we only drink Bakon (pictured), the Bacon flavored vodka, then we’ll never be hungover again? Someone try it and get at us. Also, if you can come up with a cocktail that includes this stuff that doesn’t happen to taste like morning vomit, we (may) send you The Officail Phoodie BA-K -47: Protect and feed your family, raid unsuspecting vegetarians, and maintain a steady pear-shaped figure with your very own gun made out of bacon! That’s as far as we’re willing to go with bacon today, so just remember to save that bacon grease. It just might save your life one day.