This is why you can’t have nice things, New Jersey: You have no appreciation for irony. As in: Fish can’t fly. And beer can’t drive, even when it’s named after a highway exit. And not only can beer not drive, beer can’t make (or even encourage) you to drive drunk, because humans enjoy a thing called “free will” and are not, last we looked, imbeciles who infer from names and images destructive behavior patterns. Look it up, it’s come up a few times over the course of that other thing called America. Not so, says Mothers Against Drunk Driving, in a flap that frankly denigrates the otherwise noble purpose of the group. That is all, MADD. Now get the hell out of our office.