Hot dogs have been a much beloved part of the American Summertime Experience, but some killjoys in New Jersey have recently decided to disgrace this national past time. Cancer Project, a Washington, D.C.-based nutrition and cancer nonprofit is now suing Kraft Foods – the manufacturer of Oscar Mayer, Sara Lee, Nathan’s Famous as well as Hebrew National and Sabrett hot dog producers on behalf of three New Jersey citizens. (Hebrew National? You thugs!) Citing a study that claims that regular consumption of processed meat can increase your risk of cancer, the group is looking to force hot dog companies to put warning labels on their products. No word yet on how this will affect Hatfield Hot Dog Launcher sales.
Another Thing That Can Give You Cancer
Aired July 22nd, 2009 on HealthCheck, Hot Dogs and Junk Food.2 Comments2 Responses to “Another Thing That Can Give You Cancer”
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Fuck you, cancer project, seriously. I looked deep into the Bucket of Truth a long time ago and it was revealed to me that 1.) alcohol can mess up my circulatory sytem and organs like my liver; 2.) not just processed meat, but almost all meat (particularly grilled stuff) is carcinogenically bad as well as problematic for my circulatory stystem; 3.) sweets aren’t good for me either. Like Captain Lunattick before me, I pulled my face from the bucket and shouted to Yehweh, “DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?”
There’s more cost effective ways of issuing PSAs besides lawsuits.
It just so happens that this outfit is a vegan advocacy group. The fact that they don’t state this anywhere is a sign of their extreme dishonesty. They try to represent themselves as a legitimate cancer prevention organization, but is nothing but a front for their extremist viewpoints and brainwashing.
Try feeding 7 billion people with veggies. Can we please have seveal billion volunteers to commit suicide so the rest of us can go vegan? Thought not.