Nobody freak out: Utz Chips, one of the single greatest food products to emerge from the state of Pennsylvania, has been bought out. Turns out, though, it might not be all that bad. The suitor, according to the Philadelphia Business Journal, is none other than Snyder’s Of Hanover — you know, the pretzel people. Snyder’s, located in the same town as Utz, promises no real changes to the existing line of Utz products (don’t be playin’ with my cheesey poofs, son), and no jobs will be cut. Reached for comment, the Utz girl left all questions unanswered, with her only motion being a simple reach into the bag of chips before her. Perhaps this was her way of quoting to us the classic gangsta axiom: “The game is to be sold, not to be told.”