Last time Gordon Ramsay and his Kitchen Nightmares crew came to Philly, they settled upon a worthy contender — the humble, weedy but-with-its-heart-in-the-right-place Hot Potato, a BYOB on Girard Avenue. By all accounts, the experience taught Hot Potato a few crucial lessons, and to their credit, they’ve lived to fight another day. Now, Gordo is looking in Philly at restaurants to tempt his meat-grinder of a mouth, and as it was last time, yep, we’ve got ‘em to spare. For here is the dirty secret of Philly’s restaurant boom: For every new spot that opens up to raves and becomes a regular go-to for phoodies-in-the-know, there are at least ten that are counting down to their death from the second they open their doors. So, Gordo, if we had to pick, off the top of our heads, we’d say PLEASE lay your tough love all over:
· Darling’s: It’s a goddamned mess, but it’s a potentially great spot. An identity crisis has plagued this place from the get-go, and we think you might be able to straighten it out.
· El Camino Real: This one would be a more subtle challenge, as Camino does a lot of things right, but also does a lot of things wrong. Inconsistency, coupled with lackluster service and a revolving door of chefs (wait until you get a load of the current one) could make for some great TV.
· 10 Arts: In which you’d visit Eric Ripert‘s absent-minded flop, convince Jen C that she’s better than this (after Top Chef, we’re convinced that she is) and shame Ripert himself into finally taking some responsibilty for this mess.
· Alfa: If you don’t tear this confused mess of a we-don’t-even-know-what a new asshole soon, we will. Oh, look! We just did!
· Marathon Grill: Again, a more subtle challenge: We love the entire Marathon franchise (except maybe for the 10th & Walnut one, which is always a shitshow for some reason), but they need some waking up. A famously rough-and-tumble atmosphere could be to blame here, but in any case, it’d be interesting to see Gordo tackle a handful of restaurants with the same menu (but which are not a national chain) all at once. And, oh, the servers he’d destroy! Tee-hee.
But, like we said, that’s just off the top of our heads. Commenters, we know you must have more. Do please go on.
