Oh baby: It doesn’t have to be this way.
Dear Soon-To-Be Newest Bar In Fishtown That Is Tantalizingly Close To Our Office:
So we hear that Adam Ritter of the Sidecar is about to open you soon, and that you’re going to have 24 beers on tap and that you’re probably going to be really, really nice. This is very exciting news. But I guess we should get right to the point: Though we have literally no right whatsoever to ask you such a thing, do you think you could call this place pretty much anything than Kraftwork, your current proposed name? We’ve got a few reasons for making such an admittedly ridiculous request.
As you no doubt know, your bar sits on the former site of a bar Henny & Eddie’s (now there’s a name), where our forefathers drank themselves dead on nickel drafts and contributed much to the Fishtonian archetype of the working stiff who drank piss because he just didn’t know any better. We get that you’d like to distance yourself from this type of clientele. But here’s what you’ve gotta realize:
· Most of the locals will already be poised to hate you, and having a name like “Kraftwork” isn’t gonna help. You may already know that the class wars in Fishtown are quite a sideshow, but know this: Johnny Brenda’s has been open for years, and locals still haven’t gotten over the fact that beers cost $5 and there’s no Miller Lite. The fact that you’re gonna have 24 taps AND this faccacta name will have most of the locals (not to mention the police station down the street) write you off as some kind of gay pick-up bar.
· And the rest of us are already mortified every time we have to say “Kung Fu Necktie.” It’s still a sore issue, and yes, we go there, but learn the lesson of KFN: Calling your bar something this ridiculous is a form of customer abuse, and you don’t want to be starting at deficit on your opening day.
· Kraftwerk the band rules. This name sullies their amazing legacy. As a fan, I can’t put it more simply than that.
All of this being said, we wish you well, and we will indeed be bellying up to the bar no matter what you call it. But be warned now: If you keep this abomination of a bar name, we’re just gonna go ahead and refer to you always and forevermore as “Henny & Eddie’s,” just like people did when The W&J became the Ministry of Information. Which, you will be interested to know, closed down years ago. The name didn’t help.
addendum: Sounds too much like a wack spin-off of Tom Colicchio’s Craft, Craftsteak, Craftbar, and general craft- naming style.
You aren’t the bald chef/judge/dream-man-for-gay-foodies on top chef who made being a foodie (and watching bravo) an acceptable thing to many men.
I have to disagree with almost everything in this article, except for the fact that Kraftwerk rules. That is true. But I think that Kraftwork is still a good name for the bar. The bar also isn’t trying to capture the locals who are looking for a Miller Lite. I live in this neighborhood and I’m really looking forward to Adam Ritter’s new bar. This place will be a cut above KFN or JB, no matter what the name is. Philadelphia is a beer drinking city, and they people who are going to patronize this bar aren’t the same who may or may not write it off as a gay bar.
it’s a name, just like “hipster”. which i assume you refer to yourself as….
Im sure Adam didnt come up with this name anyway.. and who cares?
24 craft beers on tap should keep all of the Miller Lite Kenzo’s out. That’s prolly why they did it…
your the one who moved there and told your parents “urban gentrification”.
jus sayin’
You should run a competition with Adam Ritter. 5 dollar entry, submit a name, proceeds (whatever small amount is) should go to charity, or a Fallen Police Officer fund, whatever it is… WInner gets to boast they named a bar.
I agree that Kraftwork isn’t the most enticing/original name and also agree that Kraftwerk the group rules. I still, however, think that if they have good beer and a solid menu, people will come. I live right around the corner from this place and will be there with bells on when they open. If the food and beer don’t suck, I may just make it my new haunt. Hell, I do the 15-20 minute walk to Memphis Taproom on the reg, and would do so even if it had a far cornier name. I’d imagine there’s enough people around, based on Memphis’s success, to keep these guys in business- with or without the blessing of the hardcore locals. By the way- In case you guys haven’t noticed, Johnny Brenda’s does pretty damn good without pandering to the Miller Light set.