Our man Collin Flatt got his start on this here site doing “It’s Vintastic,” a psychotic trip through vinified existence. After the jump, he dusts off the olfactory bulb and puts on his asshole jacket to warn you all what can happen if you partake in today’s festivities.

I really wanted to bring back “It’s Vintastic” on a positive note with a kickass bottle, but I needed to comment on today’s liquidhypemachine. I mean, there’s some good juice that’s better than plonk in the system right now, but with the glut of stunning beer finding its way around our fair city, I’ve lost a little focus. But when my editor asks, “So how are we gonna deal with this Beaujolais Nouveau thing?,” I knew it was time to come out with guns blazing.

Really, it sucks. I’m sorry, there’s no better way to start this whole thing than to say how bad it is. And not just the wine. It’s about the concept, the ploy. The reason so many folks buy lower quality wines like Yellowtail is not because we like shitty vino; it’s that we aren’t educated on how to buy the good stuff. It’s no wonder, either. You walk into a wine shop in Philadelphia that’s run by the state with uneducated employees and 30,000 intimidating bottles, and one really neat-o display up front: Beaujolais Nouveau. Shit, man, look at the website. I couldn’t tell if that was for Miller Lite, Viagra, or The Beatles’ Rock Band.

I can deal with shameless marketing and silly advertising, but to turn the day it’s released into some sort of holiday is absurd. It’s the equivalent of having a celebratory holiday in Japan the day they get irregular Wrangler Blue Jeans fresh from the boat. And not even the good dark shades. This wine is acid wash, Holmes.

But that’s where we’re kind of in the middle. The Frenchies are still dicks about their best stuff and make it as challenging as possible for the general populace to know what’s what. They won’t help out the international market and put the varietal on the label. The AOC decrees what grapes grow in what region, and Frogger thinks we should all memorize these areas and levels of quality. Georges Duboeuf appeals to the inernational market with a trippy ad campaign relating to Woodstock, and has brightly colored labels. People go batshit for their Nouveau.

It smells like bananas. Yup, bananas. It’s pinkish-purple, almost unnaturally. It’s vinified in 29 days and bottled 6 weeks after harvest. It’s made using whole berry maceration, where the juice is cooking inside of the grape before it’s extracted to speed up the fermentation process. The marketers say it’s the first chance to taste the vintage for that year, but that really couldn’t be further from the truth. Most reds shouldn’t be drunken within the first 2 years after harvest, let alone 6 weeks. No character.

As American phoodies, we’re intense folks about our beer, our food, and our liquor. We spend countless amounts of time researching luxury ingredients and rockstar chefs. We chase down rare beers, and travel across the eastern seaboard to visit breweries that don’t distribute locally. We won’t drink that martini without Hendricks Gin or a Whiskey that’s younger than 18 years old. But we mail it in when it comes to wine. If you’re gonna do Beaujolais, drink the Cru level. It’s not the same stuff as Nouveau. Head to the French section of your Wine and Spirits store and pick out one that says Fleurie or Morgon, two beautiful regions of well-made Gamay. Go with Moulin-A-Vent if you’re feeling saucy. Price? Maybe a buck or two more than the shitty stuff.

There’s a place for guilty pleasure wine as there is for Fritos, Gummi Bears, and Chef Boyardee. But let’s celebrate today’s wine erection with something deece. Spend $12 on a bottle of Cru Beaujolais and see the difference. Put a buck or two back in the pockets of a good winemaker, and get buzzed at lunch.

The softballs are always the same: Zinfandel. Off-Dry Riesling. Even wine and food critics mail it in, suggesting the ‘tried and true’, which really aren’t as true as they are boring. Go different this year. I’m all about creativity. Let’s get at it.

Pascual Toso Merlot Maipu Vineyard – $8.99
This will be your replacement for Zinfandel when dealing with the bird. Any old Merlot will NOT work, as most are oaked with monstrous tannic structure. Sr. Toso is an old-worlder at heart, going with neutral oak fermentation. This process leaves behind opulent fruit flavors of plum and cherries without the beating of vanilla and butterscotch across your mouth. A little hint of bell pepper and brioche finish this off really nicely. Don’t hate on Merlot because Paul Giamatti’s character was an idiot and didn’t realize his prized ’61 Cheval Blanc was Merlot-based. It was a nerd joke that went too far and caused the sales of a great varietal to plummet 30%. The PLCB Code is 28740

Rolf Binder Viognier Hovah 2006 – $12.99
A very versatile grape that never gets its due, Viognier should replace your Chardonnay this year. Exposed lightly to new French Oak, The Hovah has the body to deal with heavy dressings, but adds its own spiciness that Chards lack. After a short amount of time in the wood, the juice is transported back into the steel tank to balance everything out. Aromas of roses and ripe peach drive the underlying perfumes that never stick to your tongue like so many oaked beasts will. But beware, bad Viognier is horrible and flabby. Get the Hovah. The PLCB Code is 28121.

Edmunds St. John Wylie-Fenaughty Syrah 2003 – $14.99
Steve Edmunds is one of the premier Rhone varietal winemakers in the U.S., and his juice often finds its way onto our shelves even though it’s very limited. He is a classicist, allowing the Syrah to stink of cigar, forest floor, and roasted meats while keeping a medium body. A good pairing partner with game birds and the turkey itself, this Syrah is affordable and very high quality. Remember when buying Syrah to stick to the Central Coast of California (San Luis Obispo, Santa Ynez, Santa Barbara, Paso Robles) or you’ll end up with a big fruit, high-alcoholed monster. His other wine in the system is the Shell and Bone ’03, also a big winner. The PLCB Code is 14804.

Cristalino Cava Brut NV – $10.99
Bubbly during a festive dinner should be an easy pick, but which is good for what? Cristalino goes through the methode de Champenoise, with really solid fruit. In other words: real champagne without the AOC label. It’ll be dry but lush, and the best $11 you could spend on a sparkler. Drink this prior to or after the meal. Veggies, she’s you’re best friend next Thursday. The PLCB code is 06501.

Cascinetta Moscato D’ Asti – $13.99
This is your curveball in response to Riesling. Often seen as a dessert wine, Moscato D’Asti is a great representation of ancient Italian wine prior to modern techniques. Sweet and big-butted, this wine has light sparkle to add a little something to the structure. I wouldn’t drink too much of it, not because of alcohol content, but mild sugar shock. Don’t scoff before you tip a little out, but make sure you’re pairing with starchy salts and not drinking by its lonesome. The PLCB Code is 06185.

Lastly, if you’re deep frying your turkey, don’t burn down the house and avoid wine. Beer, Beer, Beer! I will be toting a 6er of Sly Fox Pikeland Pils to the annual Thanksgiving Day Orphans Potluck next week. Gobble. 

Wine psycho Collin Flatt finds an affordable 2005 Bordeaux. It’s young and tight, just how we like it.

How much difference can a year make? Chateau Mouton Rothschild 2004 was released at a whopping $185. Quite steep for a bottle of vino. Chateau Mouton Rothschild 2005? $680 retail for 750 ml of fermented grape juice. You’ll pay upwards of $2,000 in a restaurant setting for the same bottle. The disparity in pricing from vintage to vintage is based solely on the quality of the fruit in any given year. The recently released 2005 happened to be a banner year in Bordeaux (and generally all of France) and has been mentioned alongside other legendary vintages 1961, 1982, and 2000.

For those of us who can’t shell out a mortgage payment for some wine, stellar vintage’s mean something else: We can’t go wrong with a bottle of 2005 Bordeaux at any price. Buy cheap, go long. I found a very nice bottle of Chateau Beaumont in the PLCB for the staggering price of $16. This is THE steal of the month, an absurdly wonderful value, and a great example of the 2005 fruit. Sadly, there’s not a lot of it around, but I have seen it in the Columbus Circle and Franklin Mills stores, sprinkled throughout the city, and in the ‘burbs.

Chateau Beaumont is in the Haut Medoc, a left-bank wine all the way. ‘Left Bank’ refers to which side of the river the winery is located on in Bordeaux. Left Bank wine is more Cabernet based, Right Bank is more heavily influenced by Merlot. 2005 is a baby at this point, and needs a lot of decanting to get anything out of it. If you don’t have a decanter, fill one pitcher with the entire bottle of wine. Pour the contents of that pitcher into an empty pitcher and repeat a few times. The act of decanting is to let the wine aerate, and this speeds up the process so you can drink it a little sooner. After the White Trash Decant, I suggest you let the bottle open for 4 or 5 hours. She should be ready to go after that. She likes a nap before foreplay.

A classic expression of Bordeaux fruit, there’s a lot of blackberry and mint on the nose, framed with a touch of blood. The wash is bigger dark fruits, and a little mint and eucalyptus. The mouthfeel is very velvet-like and smooth, but the back end has ripping tannins that will integrate well in a few years. The bigger-than-normal-fruit up front helps balance the backside of the wine very well, though. It hugs your tonuge like a glove made of blackberries. Really pretty body on this lass. Still too young to successfully pair with food, really give the bottle a lot of time to open up and let the elements work together, connecting the dots. A brilliant effort for such a value-priced wine.

She’s not very accessible to non-wine drinkers, so don’t go dropping this on people gathering for good ol’ drunkenness. Spend time with her by your lonesome or with a friend looking to experiment. She’ll pay you back with complexity, tightness, and a vision into the future of a wine that isn’t really drinkable until 2012 or later. This little lady has enormous potential for the future, but there’s nothing wrong with being the first to get to her. Be gentle, she’ll remember.

The state store has this in limited supply and the price is $15.99. The PLCB Code is 19408.

– Collin Flatt

Collin Flatt is a former Beer Pong champ turned oenophile. Collin Flatt spends his tax refunds on wine. Collin Flatt has his Bachelor’s Degree in drinking and is getting his Master’s Degree in winemaking. Collin Flatt is working on an Arctic Splash Cuvee. Collin Flatt writes about wine for Phoodie.info.

Read more of It’s Vintastic! here.

In the latest edition of It’s Vintastic, Collin Flatt turns to a standby in his cellar that deserves more play. Read all about it after the jump.

When the summer fling ends in September, one of two things happen. You go solo for awhile until you find someone to get fat with over the cold months, or you call on your regular hookup to cleanse your palate, a Sex Sorbet if you will. There’s reasons you never worked out as a couple, but you had the physical thing going. You pushed each others hot button the right way and had an unspoken agreement that when you were single, a booty call was acceptable/expected.

I reach for Las Rocas quite often when I’m spent on the latest wine I’m pimping.  Garnacha is Spanish Grenache, one of the most versatile grapes in the world. Las Rocas hasn’t been pushed with big tannins, and wont bitch slap your palate to the ground.

Instant gratification on all fronts, she’s a pretty girl. She knows she’ll never be center stage in your life, but she’s playing you, too. Consistency is key. You never fight about anything because you don’t really talk. She’s sultry and Spanish, soft edges and curves. No temper to speak of, but not much complexity. She’ll do. You’ll do.

A deep and rich blood-red color on the pour indicates a fruit concentration of epic proportions. It’s never overwhelming. The nose is full of spicy black fruit, cherries and raspberries, and hints of mineral earth from the 70 year old vines that produce the grapes. There’s a little more cigar smoke on the wash along with rich vibrant fruit and a very mellow finish. No big tannins to shred your enamel are present,  making this an accessible non-wine drinkers wine, or a wine snob’s juice box. It tastes so damn good.

The state has bought this in long supply, and has been a favorite of theirs for years. The 2006 was especially good and rings in at $11.99. It’s everywhere and everywhere. There’s 90+ bottles at the 12th St Store, but you can find it on 19th, 5th St, and pretty much anywhere. The PLCB code is 26700.

- Collin Flatt

Collin Flatt is a former Beer Pong champ turned oenophile. Collin Flatt spends his tax refunds on wine. Collin Flatt has his Bachelor’s Degree in drinking and is getting his Master’s Degree in winemaking. Collin Flatt is working on an Arctic Splash Cuvee. Collin Flatt writes about wine for Phoodie.info.

Read more of It’s Vintastic! here.

Resident wine psycho Collin Flatt ends his summer with one last light-bodied tart. And she’s a freak.

Hair-pulling and buckwild is the way to live behind closed doors. If you don’t come up for air with bruises, you’re not really trying. Scars are sexy when they’re earned, sexier when they’re asked for. Luna Vineyards latest insanity, Freakout, is a mosh pit of competing varietals that should never have been thrown in the mix together. The vintners at Luna live to jack up your perceptions, succeeding at every turn in every bottle.

The dominant grape in the blend is Chardonnay at 35%, closely followed by Pinot Grigio jumping on for 33%. How about some Sauv Blanc? What the f*ck, why not? Let’s finish it all with the weird-ass Greek/Slovenian berry known as Ribolla Gialla. A steelcage deathmatch never tasted this good. The depth of what appears to be a tight summer wine gives you a headache digging for all the flavors in the glass. Your nose will go crossed. Pears and lemon peel on the nose, with hints of baked bread and grapefruit rind lead you down the path to full on wet stones and ripe citrus on the wash. The finish is abrupt and zesty, framed by a tease of coconut shaving. Coconut? She’s. A. Freak.

This is the kind of girl that wears pant suits to work, with a plunging neckline and no panties. After owning you in shuffleboard wearing heels, she’ll buy you a drink at the bar and force you to take her into the woman’s bathroom, asking the other ladies if they’d like to join. All left turns that never become a circle, the trip is confounding, confusing, and complex. There’s no reason to take her up on any offer, but curiosity makes for a life lived right. Drink. Up. She pairs with everything and nothing. I’m stumped.

The PLCB has it in good with the folks at Luna, as I recently reviewed their Pinot Grigio varietal bottle. All of these wines are value priced beyond belief and in very long supply. For the few things the state does right, their deal with these forward-thinking nutjobs in Napa might be the most important one. This bottle is currently a Chairman’s Selection, priced at $9. It’s everywhere. Drink it just to say you did.

The PLCB code is 18065.

– Collin Flatt

Collin Flatt is a former Beer Pong champ turned oenophile. Collin Flatt spends his tax refunds on wine. Collin Flatt has his Bachelor’s Degree in drinking and is getting his Master’s Degree in winemaking. Collin Flatt is working on an Arctic Splash Cuvee. Collin Flatt writes about wine for Phoodie.info.

Read more of It’s Vintastic! here.

Collin Flatt finds another steal in the PLCB during these waning days of summer, a Pinot Grigio.

As we near the graduation from hot days to cool, I find myself slamming back as much white wine as my gullet will allow. Much maligned in the ‘wine drinking’ population, a well structured white is as useful a tool for food pairing as any ruby juice, and usually much more agile. If you own the mantra ‘I only drink red’, lose it.

Today, consumers are drinking more ‘naked’ white than ever.  A term that reflects the process of leaving wine unoaked, or only spending time in neutral oak, ‘naked’ wines allow the fruit to sing without the interference of winemakers fearing flawed berries.  Moving away from syrupy sweet, vanilla flavored white wine displays a maturation of the American palate. Welcome to the show, mofos. Love it raw.

Pinot Grigio aka Pinto Gris, directly translates to ‘gray pinecone’, referring to the appearance of the bunches on the vine. A kissing cousin to Pinot Noir, owning the same structure and acidity, she’s not as troublesome to raise and needs half the attention. She’ll slake your thirst and set the table for raw seafood, tiny forks and all.

Luna Vineyards take on Pinto Grigio is the best our PLCB has to offer. Value priced and of high quality, Luna has thrown us the most amazing/interesting winecurveballs in recent memory. Their Canto is a superb blend of Sangiovese and Merlot, and the currently available Freakout is a massive mashup of Chard, Sauv Blanc, Grigio, and seldom used Ribolla Gialla. A mouthful to say engineered in perfect harmony.

Their solo varietal Pinot Grigio is a showcase of perfect fruit, bareass as the day she was born, a natural beauty. She looks best in a big t-shirt you own, an adorable mess the morning after. She’ll never need time to put on her face. Fluent in French and Italian, she has complexity with depth to spare.

The bottle opens up with aromas of melon and underripe pear, spilling out a light straw color across rounded crystal. A few swirls are necessary to let the rest of her figgy goodness breathe character into the closed nose. Don’t chill her too much or she’ll stay shy and subtle, keeping to herself. Works beautifully with shellfish, and light sauces on veal and turkey. Her zesty flavors bring a simple brightness to otherwise pedestrian food. Avoid tomato bases and spicy foods as the abrupt acidity will tag team your salivary glands. Drooling is not a good look. Her body is lean and light, she runs 5 times a week.

Price point of this bottle is around $10 in the Chairman’s Selection. The PLCB has a good connection with the folks at Luna, a very lucky turn for all of us. The Pinot Grigio is in very long supply alongside the earlier mentioned Freakout, and you can’t go wrong with either. Do not confuse Luna Vineyards with Luna di Luna, as there is a huge difference in quality. Buy a bunch of this before pumpkin carvin’ time. It’ll last you through the winter and all the shrimp cocktail you can handle. The PLCB code is 018096.

–Collin Flatt

Collin Flatt is a former Beer Pong champ turned oenophile. Collin Flatt spends his tax refunds on wine. Collin Flatt has his Bachelor’s Degree in drinking and is getting his Master’s Degree in winemaking. Collin Flatt is working on an Arctic Splash Cuvee. Collin Flatt writes about wine for Phoodie.info.

Read more of It’s Vintastic! here.

Our Wine Nerd, Collin Flatt, awaited this bottle’s appearance in the PLCB for 3 months. It’s here. It’s $8. It’s amazing.

Finding a good Cabernet Sauvignon isn’t challenging. Head to Bordeaux or Napa Valley, of course. Average price for top flight American Cab is around $100 per bottle, double that in France. I don’t drink a lot of Cabernet for that reason. Sure the liquor store is rife with big red, but most of them suck. There’s no way around it. Whisper down the lane in the nerd circuit told me this bottle was on the way. We all knew the producer and the region. Sometimes, that’s all you need.

The hype was there, if for no other reason than value. A Mendoza Cab for $8 is what they said. Can’t be, we said. This bottle is the dollar-to-glass Queen Of Happiness. A great find in long supply. You’ll be drinking this far into next year, and better for it. Is it the greatest Cabernet in the world? Absolutely not. It won’t even cellar well for more than a couple of years. It’s not getting any more complex or sexier, and it’s as deep as it’ll go. But she’s primed for food, for love, and what more can you ask of $8? Cheaper than a drink at the Continental without the Tang.

It needs almost no time to decant, so pop it and work it. It’s a modern style wine, with big fruit on the nose, but it’s great fruit. Healthy berries made this sweetheart, and they didn’t oak the girl beyond recognition. Nothing to hide here, they kept it realz. She’s got a serious booty going on, a very full body to explore. She wears tight clothes because she wants you to look. You can even touch and taste.

The nose is big currant fruit and plummy goodness. The varietal aromas of green pepper and graphite shavings are muted, but wake up after the first sip. Your nose and tongue work this glass like a champ. The plummy, dark-fruited nuance is heavy on the wash, with a very fleshlike finish, and not overly tannic. That lack of structure is the reason this bottle won’t go much further; it doesn’t have a backbone. Without that grip-n-rip at the end, this glass won’t demolish your food. She’s balanced and ready to go toe-to-toe with your flank steaks and leaner meats. Go ahead, be rough. She can take it.

This girl is a classic without the pretense. She’s cheap. She knows it, you know it. There’s no real depth here, just pure enjoyment. Right now that’s all I need. She’s not flashy, a low-maintenance girl. Easy conversations about her favorite movies and clothes will probably get you laid, but I wouldn’t bring up politics. She hasn’t seen the world, born and raised in the town you met her. Great in bed.

The PLCB did us right by handing us a jewel of Cabernet Sexy for $8. That cannot be stressed enough. $8. $8. $8. Just now making an appearance in stores around town, it’s in LONG supply. Drink a case of this per month, and we still couldn’t make a dent. This might be my wine of the summer. The PLCB code is 28732.

- Collin Flatt

Collin Flatt is a former Beer Pong champ turned oenophile. Collin Flatt spends his tax refunds on wine. Collin Flatt has his Bachelor’s Degree in drinking and is getting his Master’s Degree in winemaking. Collin Flatt is working on an Arctic Splash Cuvee. Collin Flatt writes about wine for Phoodie.info.

Read more of It’s Vintastic! here.

Wine psycho Collin Flatt climbs out from under the air conditioning to serve up a New World white with Old World style. Follow him down the path towards a $9 Chilean Sauvignon Blanc that someone left in his fridge.

There’s nothing worse than an old apartment building with broken air conditioning during a heatwave. I lied. There’s nothing worse than an old apartment building with broken air conditioning during a heatwave that contains a wine cellar with thousands of dollars worth of goods in it cooking into vinegar. Vino needs to be kept vibration-free,  so small wine cellars rely on thermoelectric cooling. Laymanforealz: Keep the ambient temp in the room below 90 degrees Farenheit, or the shit won’t work. I have wine storage in Jersey for the bulk of my collection, but I keep 10-15 bottles at home for daily indulgence. Sometimes the good stuff hangs out until the proper time to be awakened, requiring special people, special times.

One of those special times was before my trip to Central America. I invited wine folks over to drink the good stuff that heat would have swallowed while I was jungleside. We smacktalked restaurateurs and crushed on cute waitresses that recently crossed our paths. We drank good wine. As I am generous with the bottle, everyone brings juice anyway. These are good people. Our eyes are always bigger than our livers, as bottles brought go unloved. One of those living soldiers was a pre-release of Montes Sauvignon Blanc Leyda 2007. I don’t know who brought it, I don’t know who to thank. You can thank the PLCB for buying a shitton of it and pricing it at $9! It should be in stores in the city as of today.

I’ve gone into great detail about my love for French Sauvignon Blanc, an old standby, and one of the most important wines in the world. Nothing is better than a Sancerre in summertime. For value and amount, you can buy 2 Montes for the price of one Sancerre. Good enough reason to keep some on hand.

The nose is ripe with lime and aromas of cut grass. Some grapefruit rind finds it’s way out, but quickly dissipates if the wine warms up. New World Sav Blanc has a tendency to be overly pungent when heat smacks it, but because the aromas are more subtle here, that’s never a problem. I noticed a little sweet pea right before the wash. The freshness is stunning, with a very structured body and long finish.

This juice is the foreign exchange student you had a crush on in 10th grade. You think she was Norwegian, but she might have been from Denmark. A blonde country for sure, but which Northerly sister was the question. Definitely Old World beauty. She wears American standbys with European flair. Most likely, she’s not into you. She doesn’t want to be metropolitan U.S., she’s comfortable being Danish…or Norwegian. She’ll be gone next year, make your move.

This bottle rings in at a staggering $9. I am not sure if this was done to lead people towards good wine, or punish those who buy domestic tripe for the same price. This sweetheart is going to be in heavy rotation in Philadelphia starting this week in the 12th Street store, and trickling throughout the region over the next couple weeks. You can find this bottle in the Chairman’s Selection. The PLCB code is 28927.

–Collin Flatt

Collin Flatt is a former Beer Pong champ turned oenophile. Collin Flatt spends his tax refunds on wine. Collin Flatt has his Bachelor’s Degree in drinking and is getting his Master’s Degree in winemaking. Collin Flatt is working on an Arctic Splash Cuvee. Collin Flatt writes about wine for Phoodie.info.

Read more of It’s Vintastic! here.

Fresh off his trip to Belize, Collin Flatt goes back to what he knows best. Today, he takes Aussie Shiraz to task, and finds a champ.

The first thing I learned about wine was that bad Shiraz can be the worst experience of your life. To wit: Yellow Tail Shiraz. A tarry, gummy, one-dimensional sucktasm that won’t go away. It’s the cockroach of wine. Long after we’re dead, it’ll still be here because it killed every last one of us. I don’t like it very much.

Shiraz, or Syrah, is a powerful grape that needs to run free and live big. It fluorishes in many climates, but finds a sweetspot in Australia where the intense heat pushes the alcohol and flavor of the berries to astronomical heights. When done right, Shiraz is exalting and gregarious. The life of the party, the bouncer, all at once. The problem with finding quality Aussie Shiraz is price. There’s a glut of chaff out there, and you’ll pay top dollar for top names. None more important than Penfolds Grange, and Two Hands Ares. A bottle of the former will set you back around $300, the latter, $180.

It’s a rule that silly looking labels have silly wine inside. The Cape Mentelle Shiraz’s non-descript label will cause most casual wine drinkers to pass it over for another Aussie, ‘Woop Woop’. Don’t make this mistake, I implore you.  Grab whatever you can of the Cape, it’s the best value-priced Shiraz I have ever tasted.

When first poured, she has heavy aromas of licorice and pepper, framed by slight gamey-ness. On the wash it’s all blackberry and jammy fruit, some cassis, and chocolate near the mid-palate. You’d swear the rim of your glass was dusted with black pepper. The crisp and quick finish is a huge surprise and actually makes the bottle a perfect foil for meat and gamefowl dishes. She’s quite versatile, works in the fields during the day, dresses slinky at night. All class, great body. No makeup, natural curls and a walk To. Die. For. She’s not afraid to work with a partner, and doesn’t require constant attention and reassurance throughout the night. If you’re lucky enough to take her home, she’s got a few tricks up her sleeve. You will enjoy them all.

This bottle has been popping up around town for the ungoddamnbelievable price of $14.99. Absurd. I took two sips and rewarded the talents of the winemaker with the purchase of a case. You should do the same. It’s in heavy rotation on the Chariman’s Selection right now, but it won’t last long. The PLCB code is 27307.

–Collin Flatt

Collin Flatt is a former Beer Pong champ turned oenophile. Collin Flatt spends his tax refunds on wine. Collin Flatt has his Bachelor’s Degree in drinking and is getting his Master’s Degree in winemaking. Collin Flatt is working on an Arctic Splash Cuvee. Collin Flatt writes about wine for Phoodie.info.

Read more of It’s Vintastic! here.

Phoodie Wine Nerd Collin Flatt finds another Gem Of Stupid Pricing in the PLCB stacks. This time, it’s an Italian Nebbiolo lovefest for your gamiest meats.

My interest/obsession with wine began when I was slinging drinks in the Trastevere neighborhood of Rome. I was there to learn art history like a good student, but ended up getting an education in alcohol. It’s what we all did. For some of us, it was unbridled-triple-dip-blackout territory on all fronts.

Wading through the Heineken, Grappa, and All Night Bakeries can lead one to the Nebbiolo grape. Her loveliness is what makes the finest Italian wines. We happen to have a very affordably priced sweetheart in our midst right now that goes by the name Travaglini Gattinara Tre Vigne. 1998 was a great year in Piedmont. With 10 years of bottle age added to the stellar vintage, this wine is quite the find. Our ‘friends’ at the PLCB wildly underpriced this little lady. She’s going for $35-50 around the U.S., and we have it for $19.

If you open a Gattinara too early, she will slap you around and force you to break up over the phone. If you let her mature a bit, she’s nothing short of liquid worth marrying.  She’s a trophy, it’s true. She looks amazing in a sundress and feeds you multiple courses at each meal, because that’s what was taught. She’s traditional, and her soft features keep your eyes focused on her best qualities. We’ve been together awhile, but it hasn’t gotten stale. I’m pretty sure we’re in love.

The nose of the juice is quintessential leather and tar you get with most Nebbiolo wines. An aroma of funky barnyard floor is noticeable, which sounds awful, but really pushes the complexity of the experience. The wash is dark cherries with a grilled peppercorn framing the whole glass. Her spiciness is a little hidden here, but you know she’s been around the block. There’s a nice truffle-y highlight as it goes into the finish, which is nicely integrated with tannins that have mellowed over time. It’s an elegant drink, and quite versatile. This wine will enhance gamey meats like lamb, and pungent blue cheeses. She’s not heavy at all, balanced for food and romantic notion.

The rub here is the age of our Gattinara. 1998 was stupendous, to be sure, and giving this wine time is just what it needs. But, considering it was probably improperly stored by the state, purchasing this wine can be a crapshoot. I have purchased 4 bottles and all have been fine, but another colleague got a tired bottle. So buy 2, just to be sure.

We’ve got a mountain of these bottles in our system right now. They are in the Chairman’s Selection, but not advertised as such.  You will find these bottles in their own display, and are oddly shaped. Can’t miss it. I have seen them at 12th Street, but they’re also listed at most premium stores through the city and suburbs. The PLCB Code is 23557.

–Collin Flatt

Collin Flatt is a former Beer Pong champ turned oenophile. Collin Flatt spends his tax refunds on wine. Collin Flatt has his Bachelor’s Degree in drinking and is getting his Master’s Degree in winemaking. Collin Flatt is working on an Arctic Splash Cuvee. Collin Flatt writes about wine for Phoodie.info.

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